Today I finally went through my old Blackberry files to see what I could delete or store on the computer. I’m selling it to one of those recycle-your-mobile places for a tidy little profit of £48. Nice.
As I was going through my memos, I knew I couldn’t part with them; I used to write short, memorable conversations or one-liners that had amused me along my merry way.
I’ve just sat and had a really good laugh at them all and then thought: they’re way too good not to share with the big mad world. I don’t know if they will be the ‘you had to be there’ kind of funny but, if you were there, then that works!
So here they are in all their (mistaken) glory...Enjoy!
“Yeah, that’s why they’re over-bese.” Mum.
“I could Tango all days long.” Steph
A: “Oh my God, is that why they call it Sex in the City? Cos she’s in London”
G: “New York?”
A: “No, London.”
G: “What, next series?”
A: “Series 2?”
G: “Is it?”
A:“Is it?” (Me & Alice)
“And when someone goes in there to get one I just want it to be DUST!... Shaped like a square.”
- “Ships to share?”
- “What the fuck is Omco?”
- “Does this face look like it wants to go out?”
- “Has someone fucked you in the ear hole?” (1xtra- Sheffield)
“I’m finding it very hard to walk in a straight line, as you can tell. And I know you felt it too.”
(Me to Ali)
“She looked like the woman from ‘Two Birds and a Feather’”
G: “Ahh ming-mong. That’s what I am.”
A: “Yeah, you’re Ming and I’m Mong.” (Me & Ali)
S: “Watch out rape is on the larms.”
A: “Did she just say larms?”
S: “Yeah.” (Anna & Sara)
“If you were that bread roll, wouldn’t you feel bun?” (Anna)
“Oh what a wicked web we weave, when we practice to deceive.” (Franka Caruso)
“Long shorey stort. That’s what she just said. Is she drunk?” (Merci)
“You’ve got to escape. Escape to within.” (Random guy at the gig to Michael)
L: “If you go in there then”
G: "Then what?”
L: “Then...there will be an onion on the floor.” (Livvy & Me)
A: “Dash? Isn’t that like when you dash a baby’s head against the wall? Like ‘He dashed young Jacob’s head against the rock.”
G: “The rock?”
A: “Yeah, like if you’re at a beach and the baby won’t shut up.” (Alex)
These are by no means the funniest things these people have said, but they're a few gems I found on the phone and if you made the wall of fame [read: shame] I'm sure you'll love me for sharing this with the blogosphere!
Love,
